GOD’S REMINDER: Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart. (Ecclesiastes 5:2)
NOTE TO SELF: I am stuck in the parenting trap of good and evil. The battle is all mine. A battle of flesh and the need to always be right. It is a battle I will always lose…a battle that cannot be won without God on my side.
I am quick with my mouth. Always so quick. Always so impulsive to yell and scream my demands. I’m reactionary. And the worse part of it all, is that it comes from a hasty heart. One that is not healed, but broken and bruised.
No matter how hard I try to win this ugly battle with my three year old son, I have never quite grasped the fact that I am the example. Oh, I get that in my head, but I tend to forget it in my actions. When I yell at him to stop yelling. When I become impatient with his impatience and demand he just be patient. When I throw a verbal fit when something doesn’t go my way, which is 90% of the time. Or when I pound my fist on the table when my computer doesn’t load fast enough.
If I ever wonder how and why my son reacts the way he does, I guess the simple answer is for me to look in the mirror. I will never be perfect, and I will surely make mistakes, but one thing I truly desire is to make this scripture a part of my daily living, to know it and live it, to be its example for my son.
My intentions are good, but sometimes intentions aren’t good enough. My quick mouth gets me in trouble everywhere I go. Although sometimes I think I’m doing the right thing, it never turns out quite as I would hope. This scripture doesn’t merely pertain to my parenting skills, but in my life as a whole, in everything I do and everyone I come in contact with. My mouth gets me in a lot of trouble, even when it’s my fingers that do the talking for me.
I’m resolved to let this scripture sink in and settle down. I’m eager to make a commitment like never before and give this a place to reside within me. A very special place where God can refine me and my relationship with my son.