"God didn't send me out to collect a following for myself, but to preach the Message of what He has done, collecting a following for Him" (1 Corinthians 1:17)

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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

These Sins of Mine


Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
(John 8:10-11)

Brace yourselves…I’m not perfect.

I know, I know…you’re shocked and perplexed. You’re probably wondering then, what justifies ME—a blatant, obvious sinner—to write a blog on God’s Reminders. Well…it’s my own flaws that motivates me to write, NOTE TO SELF: Daily Reminders from God.

When I began this blog a couple of years ago, it truly started out as a “note to self”. When I read God’s Word, I find myself being nudged by the Holy Spirit into a deeper understanding of God’s promises and what they mean/meant in my life.

However, lately I’m under the impression that some readers think I’m a know-it-all, or holier-than-thou. I’m not. I’m far from it, and I know it (just not “all”). I don’t claim to have all the answers (just some). I don’t claim to be all-knowing when it concerns the Bible. I just share with you what God shares with me.

God has used this blog as a means to speak to me in my life. I only share that insight with you. You can do with it what you will. I don’t demand that you take my word as “the gospel” of Truth. Again, I’m just sharing with you what God shares with me. Unfortunately for you, it is Truth in MY life and what I write I believe.

Lately, it seems, many people have been focusing on only one point I made a few weeks ago about gay marriage. I never said that gay marriage or homosexuality is the sin of all sins. There is no sin that’s greater than another. My sin is the equivalent of anyone’s homosexuality. Sin is sin. And even as Christians, we are still sinners, even though we are justified and made righteous by Christ’s ultimate sacrifice. It’s called…grace. It means that someone as imperfect as me can write a blog like this. It means that all my gunk…God uses for His glory and to speak to others who may be going through the same gunk.

Today, this blog comes from MY heart, not God’s. But 99% of my posts are Holy Spirit inspired. It’s part of MY learning process. It’s part of my studies of scriptures. If you’re gay, guess what? I love you, and so does God. If you’ve had an abortion, I love you, and so does God. If you’re going through a divorce, be comforted in knowing that God still loves you, too.

Nothing we do makes God love us less. Not your sin or mine. It’s what we do with that sin that makes the real difference. While some want to justify their sin, most Christians (I hope) repent daily of theirs. They understand that although they are a sinner, they are forgiven and covered by the blood of Jesus. Now that doesn’t mean we go through life being nasty and cruel and at the end of the day we say, “I’m sorry God. Forgive me.”

I often tell my three-year old son that when he tells me he’s sorry that he’s not truly sorry unless he doesn’t do it again. Saying we’re sorry means we will truly work at never doing it again. And we can’t justify our sinful nature by saying, “I’m only human,” or, “I have needs,” and then acting on them only to say sorry to God and then do them all over again, day after day.

These sins of mine:
I lived a very promiscuous lifestyle before Christ. If you can believe it, I had sex with over 100 men before my 30th birthday, and lost my virginity at the age of 13 and had my first child at 17.
Hold in your gasps, but I’m also on my fourth marriage. I know…the horror, right? How does God even LOOK at me?!
I’ve had two abortions—I murdered two of my own children. (Right there I should be eternally doomed for damnation, but I’m not. God forgave even what feels like the worst crime!)
I struggle everyday with impatience and rage.
I sometimes swear and curse at people.
I’m having a hard time forgiving my brother-in-law who has mistreated me on several occasions.
I’m defensive and emotionally sensitive (I’m offended easily).
I sometimes tell people off when they upset me.
I’m angry with my church and haven’t gone to church since my mother died in May.
I’m reluctant to get close to people.
These sins of mine could go on and on. Some of those don’t seem so awful, while a few of them are pretty outrageously bad, or so it seems. But they are all equally sinful in nature.

I shared my sins with you so you can see that I’m FAR from perfect, and God could have chosen someone far more superior, or “pure” than I am to do what I’m doing, but He’s asked me to do this and I am obeying Him the best way I know how.

This is the gift God gave me: writing and exhortation. Some call me a prophetess, but I don’t know if I believe that. I know for sure that, like Jeremiah, I don’t want to be a prophet, because as you know they are rejected and ridiculed, and if you read my list of sins, you can see I wouldn’t (read: don’t) handle that very well at all.

Don’t let your sin stop you from doing what God needs you to do. But remember, your sin is something that needs to be worked on. You cannot justify it! You cannot say God now accepts premarital sex, or homosexuality, or abortion. We can’t change God’s Word and Truth merely to justify our flesh. God can—and will—heal those areas in our lives. It’s called, becoming a new creation in Christ.

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