GOD’S REMINDER: “No one who follows me stumbles around in the darkness. I provide plenty of light to live in.” (John 8:12 MSG)
NOTE TO SELF: Don’t confuse Jesus’ statement that life will always be hunky dory. Jesus is telling us that we won’t have to stumble around in our dark hours. No longer will we be struck by fear or the unknown. Christ’s light allows us to live abundantly even when we have nothing.
The struggles in my darkness before I surrendered my life to Christ were overwhelming. I wanted to die most days. Ending my life seemed to be a daily thought. I stumbled from one day to the next, grasping at anything that I thought would give me life: men, sex, alcohol, cocaine, or the bar scene, never knowing where I’d be from one day to the next. Those things left me stumbling, both literal and metaphorical.
(Side note: I gave my life to Christ a few months before my 30th birthday. My mom, who was not a believer, told me through tears on the night of my 30th birthday, that she was grateful for “whatever” it was that changed me, because she never thought I’d live long enough to see my 30th birthday.)
My life still has struggles—daily! But never does the thought cross my mind that I’d be better off dead. Never do I stumble in the darkness anymore, merely reaching out for more darkness. Christ now provides plenty of light for me to live in. At least now I can see where I’m going.