NOTE TO SELF: Life is not easy, and each new day seems to be harder than the last.
My husband lost his job yesterday in a very unfair, unprofessional manner. A year ago, this would have had me spiraling out of control, anxious, panicky, and angry. For some reason…I feel peace.
I have a lot of friends who are never happy, no matter what I say to encourage them. While they have jobs, or family to support them, and friends who love them, it’s just not enough to make them realize just how marvelous this life is.
My mother, who was beyond miserable and unhappy in life, had a very famous line she used whenever I was feeling sorry for myself. (It does contain a curse word, so skip over to the next sentence if you don’t want to hear it.) She’d always tells me, “Tris, life’s a bitch and then you die.” Well, too many people fall into that trap of, “life sucks,” and find out that it still stinks even in the really good times. If we perceive life as awful, it will always be that way no matter how great things are going for you.
With that mentality, my mom spent the last few years of her life not even really living. She squandered her life away secluding herself from us for the most part, and spent all of her spare time watching old movies. While life carried on, she was already dead inside. She had no desire to live life. She may have fought hard against cancer, but she didn’t fight to live.
I have moments when I feel sorry for myself and get angry that nothing seems to ever go right, but I still find joy in my life. I still find so many things to be grateful for. I still find a way to try and encourage others who feel hopeless. I still try to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hang onto to hope for dear life, even when it all seems so hopeless.
This is our once in a lifetime opportunity to truly live and comprehend what a marvelous life it is. It’s easy to get caught up in all the mucky muck and sink deeper and deeper into it each day. That’s the easy way. And that’s they way the enemy devours us in despair, keeping our eyes off the goal.
The other option is to always see something good in every situation. Right now I’m creating homemade journals for Rachel’s Vineyard. If Jared was working full time, I’d have no time to work on them. And thankfully, we have my mother’s insurance money to get us through the next few months, if need be. It’s not the best option, but it’s better than the alternative of not having anything at all. And we’ve been there, too.
Every moment of every day is a gift from God. Now, more than ever, without having my mom here anymore, I realize just how valuable those moments are. And despite what my life looks like and feels like, I won’t squander this marvelous life God has given me.
PRAYER: Father, times are tough for so many of your children right now. So many people are struggling and aching. Please, God, help them to be encouraged and to find some joy in their circumstances. Let them find You. Amen.
JOURNAL: Start a gratitude journal (if you haven’t already done so). When you sit down to write down the things you are thankful for, consider this: What if tomorrow you woke up with only the things you were grateful for the day before? It will truly make you rethink the things you are thankful for.