NOTE TO SELF: Raise your hand if you ever blamed your parents for something that’s gone wrong in your life?
Although I attended Catholic school for seven years, that didn’t mean I lived in a Godly home. Quite the contrary. I lived in an abusive home with an alcoholic step-father who molested me when I was eleven. God wasn’t welcome in our home. His name was rarely mentioned unless it was followed with, as used as, curse words.
My life has always been an uphill battle, and sometimes I wonder how differently my life would be today had my mother been God-loyal. I had to go through hell and back to find God again in my adult life. Since no one taught me His ways properly, I just found it easier to blame God rather than run to Him. From my early teens up until I was 29, I hated God passionately!
I prayed by myself as a child. I fasted. I was devout in my faith. But I was all alone in it, too. My mother didn’t encourage it, or even support it! Here I was, this incredibly Godly child living in an incredibly ungodly home, unsure what my faith meant or how to keep it actively alive in my life.
Over time my faith faltered. I blossomed into womanhood much quicker than the other girls at school, and the nuns singled me out, pulling me aside, continuously telling me how evil I was and that I was going to hell. From that perspective, along with my home life, what hope did I have?
My life was hell for many years.
Not to blame my parents, but…
What if my mother had lived a God-loyal, honest life when I was child? Maybe she would have made better choices that would have affected me differently. Maybe I wouldn’t have gone through so much turmoil. Maybe I would have made better choices.
“What if’s” don’t matter in life. What matters is now. I’m giving my son something I never received. A God-loyal, honest outlook. I eventually found my way back to God, because God promises to never leave us. But if we teach our children about the goodness and truth of God, then God’s Word insists that it makes their lives so much easier.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, help us to live God-loyal, honest lives before our children. As parents, we always want better for our children than what we had. Help us to guide them in Your ways, not our own. Help us to be Godly examples so that making good decisions in life will be a bit easier for them than it was for us. Amen.
JOURNAL: Write about your home life as a child and the roll God played in your family, if any.