That's it. Verse 35. Two words: Jesus. Wept.
Today I needed a scripture to reflect my own feelings. If you've been following along, then you know my mother is in the final stages of recurring breast cancer. Yesterday, we ended up in ER for several hours because just getting up from her chair left her breathless. We soon discovered that she now has emphysema. If the cancer won’t kill her, this surely will, particularly if she decides—which she has—to keep smoking.
How do you continue to encourage and support someone who is purposely making matters worse for themselves? If she were shooting heroine, I wouldn’t continue supporting her addiction to that! So the question now, based on her decision to keep doing what she’s been doing, although she’s sick of being sick, is how to deal with a person who has no regard for her own life. Granted, she’s going to chemo, taking countless meds every single day…but for what? Only to make matters worse by continuing to smoke a pack and a half of cigarettes a day, and nearly a bottle of Grand Marnier a week?
Today she is incredibly angry with me because I confronted her about her smoking. She even bravely asked, “Then why am I even taking chemo?” I wonder the same thing. What’s the point of fighting off one disease if you are so willing to create and exasperate another? Cancer is not going to kill my mother. My mother is going to kill my mother with her own destructive and damaging choices. And in my righteous anger, she has referred to me as a “raving lunatic.” My love for her is that strong. Yes.
I bet Jesus is weeping. He has to be. If I am feeling frustrated, angry and depressed, how much more does He feel about this situation?
The lies of the enemy are so strong and so filled with half-truths that it’s hard to decipher any fiction in them. My mom is living a lie. It’s the lie she’s created within her own world, and she’s so far gone that reality doesn’t even make sense to her anymore. Mary told Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (verse 32). For me, I’m calling on Jesus to be there with her right now, at this moment in time, to confront her with the truth she is so willing to ignore.
It is my sorrow and my heartache that moves Jesus. And in His sorrow, he resurrects the dead. When he saw the anguish and heartache of Mary’s sorrow over Lazarus’ death, it made Him weep. “When Jesus saw her weeping…he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled” (verse 33).
NOTE TO SELF: Truth is, Jesus moves when we are in turmoil, aching for relief. Jesus will do anything to comfort us. That in itself...is the greatest comfort of all.