"God didn't send me out to collect a following for myself, but to preach the Message of what He has done, collecting a following for Him" (1 Corinthians 1:17)

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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Not Giving Up

Scripture to reflect upon for Truth Tuesday: Psalm 17:4-5 (The Message)
I’m not trying to get my way in the world’s way. I’m trying to get your way, your Word’s way. I’m staying on your trail; I’m putting one foot in front of the other. I’m not giving up.

You may be asking, “Where’s the truth in that, Tristine?” This is a truth that should be buried deep within your own spirit. This is a truth not from God, but a truth that should be spoken from our own lips.

I have spent the last several days spinning questions around in my mind and receiving little to no answers. Each day I presented my case to God with robust and well-thought out questions, but not before telling God that He is God and I will praise Him because of that fact. I may have doubts, and I may have deep seeded fears, but even when I feel lost, confused, or deserted, I will always acknowledge God as the Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth.

This scripture says so much about what I’ve been going through. I’ve given a lot of thought to atheism, and gathered a whole new outlook on their cause and agenda. I’ve always said that I believe atheists do believe in God, they just hate Him. I never considered why, until I had come face to face with my own near-hate experience with God.

Many people will tell you not to question God, but merely believe. That’s a statement many of us don’t want to hear, nor follow. I have always thought that having a real and raw relationship with God was essential to our walk, and I still do. The problem with this, specifically for those who cross the line, is when the questions become interrogation. We tend to put God on trial while we play judge and jury. Once we do that, it’s easy to begin hating God much like we hate Casey Anthony, Charles Manson, or Bin Laden. That’s the world’s way of trying to understand God, and that’s where atheism begins to take root.

I found myself beginning to badger God on issues because I was suffering from my own confusing pain. Instead of facing my own problem, I focused all of my attention on God’s seemingly flaws.  That’s when I felt the disdain settle in, and that’s when I knew I was wobbling on a fine line.

What was it going to be, then? This is the question I asked myself this morning. Was I going to just ignore God again, turn my back and try to fix it all on my own like I’d done so many times in the past and failed so miserably? Or was I going to suck it up and give God the praise He deserves even when I didn’t feel it? I was immediately reminded of Peter.

I love The Message version of the bible, because as someone who needs a “real and raw relationship,” this version gives me real and raw scriptures, broken down in ways that smack me in the face. In John 6, the subchapter heading for verses 60-71 is, “Too Tough to Swallow.” So many of his followers were deserting Him because His message was, quite literally, too tough to swallow. And I love this scene: Jesus watches so many people leave Him. He must have quietly sat there, realizing that this was the moment of truth. Then Jesus gave the Twelve their chance: “Do you also want to leave?” (vv. 67) Peter, so bold and always so aggressive, seems to humbly admit, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of real life, eternal life”(vv.68).  

Today’s truth is our moment of truth. When things get tough and we begin to doubt and question God, are we going to follow the world and just hate God; or will we instead, put one foot in front of the other, stay on God’s trail and never give up?

NOTE TO SELF: God is still God regardless of what we feel and the questions we may have. That never changes. That is a reality that even atheists know. This reality can either make you hate God, or love Him more. What will it be for you? Real, eternal life? Or the world’s way, filled with doom and gloom, madness and greed, and an eternity far from God? I choose life today. Care to join me?


  1. Your right atheists do believe. they just hate God. it astounds me how anyone today , can not, believe in a Loving intelligent designer of the universe and all life therein. Technology with so much to see & learn about the universe. The scientists at my church said 'that it takes more faith to believe in nothing, because in our day- much has been discovered, and can be seen with the natural eye. And points us to an unmistakable fact that "in the beginning God began Creating". And he is creating even today.
    Therefore we owe our honor, respect, and LOVE to our Father of Heaven.

  2. Thank you, Hannah, for sharing your thoughts! I, too, feel it takes much more energy to NOT believe. But their belief is based on a lie that they don't believe. Listen to their words, and you will hear nothing but anger towards God...that's not unbelief. That's belief in God, and anger because they don't understand Him.


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