"God didn't send me out to collect a following for myself, but to preach the Message of what He has done, collecting a following for Him" (1 Corinthians 1:17)

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Thursday, September 8, 2011

Catch Me I'm Falling

Scripture to reflect upon for Thirsty Thursday: Psalm 13:1-3 (The Message)
Long enough, God—you’ve ignored me long enough…
Long enough I’ve carried this ton of troubles, lived with a stomach of pain…
Take a good look at me, God, my God…
I’ve thrown myself headlong into your arms.

Today my soul is incredibly thirsty. We all go through these trials, and we begin to question everything. We begin to wonder why God is ignoring us, and we get tired of carrying the troubles that literally make us sick.

Today I’m crying out to God to take a good look at me, and to see where I am and how close I am to falling off this cliff. However, I’m desperately trying to turn away from the edge and instead throw myself at the mercy of God. That’s not always easy to do, either. Not when you’re in a bad way. Not when the odds all seem to be lined up against you. Not when you can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. Not when all hope seems lost. Not when you keep believing and seem to never see a breakthrough. Not when you are so expectant that you put all your hope in God and nothing happens. Not when you stand on God’s Word and His promise, only to find it may not be promises intended for you. And you begin to wonder, and ask, and ponder everything you’ve been doing. You begin to ask yourself, “Where did I go wrong? What am I doing wrong? Why are you ignoring me God?!”

I then think of Job. Oh, poor Job. Everything he lost at the hands of the enemy because God allowed it all to happen because Job was such a faithful servant of God—that was his curse. Sure, in the end God replenished his loss, even doubled it…but did He? How can you replace children? You can’t. How do you ever forget those traumas? You don’t.

We all feel it at times. King David makes endless pleas like today’s scripture in countless psalms. David ached to hear from God, to see His goodness in all the evil that surrounded him, to know that God still cared when he felt God had left him to fend for himself. He even went so far as to believe that his prayers were being answered before God answered them. “I’m celebrating your rescue. I’m singing at the top of my lungs, I’m so full of answered prayers” (vv. 5-6).

I’m sure this isn’t the happiest devotional to read, but it’s real and raw, and that’s what I promised to write about on a daily basis. Life isn’t always lollipops and rainbows. Sometimes we need to tackle the tough issues in the horrifying light of day. Sometimes as Christians we get all lost in the sunshine sermons and wonder why we feel this way on the bad days. When we hang on to those hopeful Words and see no return in our investments, we begin to feel as if too many people have been blowing smoke up our you-know-what.

NOTE TO SELF: It’s time to get real with God. “I’ve looked at the back of your head long enough” (vv. 1). God, let me see your face! Let me celebrate Your rescue. Let me sing at the top of my lungs. Let me be filled with answered prayers! I refuse to stop believing, because I am a child of God and Your Word says you have great plans for me. Make it so, God. Make it so...

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